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how to become more confident

Confidence is one of those things that everybody wants or had at some point.

When we're really young, a lot of us had confidence until someone said something that hurt us, we experienced bullying, parental pressures, and so many other factors. The good news is - we can actually become more confident versions of ourselves even if we think confidence has left the building for good.

Here are a few small steps to start doing consistently if you want to become that more confident version of yourself:

  1. Getting your basic needs met

This looks like taking care of yourself. Something that sounds so simple but often gets overlooked. Start with making a healthy meal, making your bed, setting a bed time, reassuring yourself, speaking kinder to yourself (therapy can help with this one a lot!).

2. Celebrate

Stop waiting for something huge to happen before you celebrate. When we become adults we don't always get the encouragement and celebrations like we may have gotten when we were younger, so that means it is up to adult version us to step up to the plate and show up for ourselves. You deserve to celebrate and feel proud of yourself even if it doesn't feel like it right now - do it anyway!

3. Keep your promises

This is a big one - keep your promises to yourself. If you said you were going to read that book on your bedside, then pick it up and read it. Following through with promises we made to ourselves is another small step to achieving confidence.

4. Investigate and Act

Identify the area you lack the most confidence and focus on working on that on the side, meanwhile find something you are good at or something you can like or admire about yourself (you can get someone else to help you figure out what this is too). When I was younger I felt very insecure about my body, so I decided I will learn to love my mind and how deeply it thinks instead. This confidence grew and started to spread to other areas of my life - including my security and confidence in my body.

Lean in to the areas where you feel even the slightest bit more confident. What outfit makes you feel the best, food, people, activity....figure that out and consistently act as that confident version of yourself.

Confidence is not a constant - for anyone. This means we have to check in with ourselves often and be gentle with ourselves. Some days you might feel great, and others not so great. Confidence is a practice.


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